Darkness Visible

Letter

Today I did almost nothing.
Read a little, tried to write a sentence
to make another sentence seem necessary.

I wasn’t unhappy. Everything
I could will myself to do I’d done,
so I said I’d done enough.

Now I’m looking out my window:
white pine, ash, a single birch,
the leanings and crossings

of branches. And then the sky:
pale, undecided. Years ago
you wrote to me about a matter

that worried you, and you said
at the end, “That’s probably the best,
and most true, way to think about it.”

I kept your sentence in my notebook.
I liked its shape. I admired the way,
young as you were, you could feel

one kind of thinking
adjusting into another, one truth
becoming a better truth.

Now you’re far off, and alone, and I
have no advice you haven’t already
given yourself. What can I tell you?

That I’m here? That today, when I saw
how tenderly the light was moving
among those trees, I thought of you?

— Lawrence Raab